Life with Cancer

How are lives change in such few moments. I sometimes keep thinking that one day I will wake up and everything will be back to normal, but these days I have been waking up at the crack of dawn with mom to go to treatment. This is our life. No matter what we wish for or how I long for things to be back to "normal", this is our familys' "new normal". So treatment started yesterday. I will give you a run through of how it all works. First, I take mom to get her blood drawn. Her being on a trial study the doctors watch her like a hawk and take note of any and every detail. Then yesterday she met with her oncologists. The first one came in to see how things were going and I ended up telling her that mom had that double vision and imbalance episode going on this past Sat. you could totally tell that the doctor was concerned and had mom immediately stand up and do some balancing stuff, felt her face, checked her heart, etc. she concluded that she wanted mom to have a spinal tap done that day. Well I know mom wanted to absolutely disown me for saying something to them. She got so sad and was about to cry and just didn't want it to happen. She is so tired of being pricked and poked. So then Dr. Chesney ( he is head of this trial) came in and told us that the reason for the spinal is to see if the cancer has gone to the spinal fluid-- but even IF it was there is really nothing they could do because she is already on ONTAK and it may help it slow down. anyhow she ended up not getting it after alot of begging. So we went down to the next floor and mom sits in her comfy lounge chair where they tap into her port and administer the ONTAK. It is a pretty boring process and usually ends up taking a total of about 1 1/2 hours. Today we didn't have to see the doctor and everything went fairly quick. Later on today mom got tapped and about 3 1/2 lts. came out. The great news is that she has gained 3 BIG LBS. So she is now weighing in at a whopping 125.6. YEAH!!! I will take it. I have to also add that mom is doing so great physically and mentally on this new therapy. She does get a little down sometime because she doesn't have a lot of energy but she is definitely not in the bed sleeping for a week straight. To give you all an example she was blowing leaves and skimming the pool yesterday. She still gets really tired quickly and gets sick sometimes. I think it is good for her to do the normal day to day things. She wants to feel somewhat normal. We are also trying to get all this disability stuff in and we had been swimming in papers to sign and fax. Once all that is finished mom said she will be ready to go down to TN with me on Friday. I just want her to relax and enjoy TN and let me fatten her up.

Love to all and keep praying for mom.
Shan

In KY

Sorry it has been forever since anyone has blogged. I told Boogie he has been really lazy. the duff family got into Memphis on Wednesday afternoon and then closed on our house the next day and got back into the truck and drove right to KY. I am done with driving. The past couple of days have been pretty uneventful. All I have been reallly doing is feeding mom and making sure she gets her vitamins. I think she gets annoyed with me a bit with all the food I try to give her, but I know that if I make it and just put it near her she will eat something. She has been gaining a bit which is great. Saturday we went to Jaclyns softball game. After the game we were trying to get back to the car and she was complaining of double vision, and numbness around her mouth. Her nose was extremely cold too-- didnt understand that??? It took her a while to get up and then once she was up her balance was off....she kept leaning over to the right, pushing me over. Once we got to the car she threw up next to it. Then she felt better. Later that day she just had to lay down. It freaked me out a bit but I guess this is what is going to happen sometimes. I don't know if I should let it bother me or just accept it. I hate seeing her like that and having side effects. Sometimes I even wonder if chemo/treatment is REALLY the right thing to do. Is it just our world we live in that when we get cancer we automatically have only 3 choices? Chemo, radiation, or surgery??? There has got to be something else. Something better. Anyhow I am rambling.......yesterday was so much better. Gavin and I took mom to church which was terrific and then out to eat, and then later that day went over to my friend Christy Sipes house to hang out. Today we will spend much of the Memorial Holiday at Boog and Jenn's for a BBQ. Mom starts treatment tomorrow and I am so happy I will be able to take her and help her this time. hopefully I will post either tomorrow or the next day. BTW, Sarah has moved on to Panama as of Saturday. Please keep her and her team, Seven Eleven in your prayers. Also, thank you to all the service members of our great country esp. VFA 115, our old squadron just left last week for another 6 month deployment.

All my love and keep praying for mom,
Shannon

Meet My Yellow Team (west coast)

As I write, my house is all packed up, loaded in PODS and I am waiting to leave sunny California (Gavin is STILL working). I cannot express to you how excited I am for this next move to Tennessee, but I couldn't leave without telling everyone about the greatest navy friends that I could ever have. For those that are not in the military these women are my second family. Their kids are my kids best friends. I can call on them in a blink of an eye and they would be here by my side. In the past 2 1/2 years that I have been here, these friends have made countless meals for me, watched my children, picked me up from the airport, cleaned my house, watched my dogs, brought me coffee when I didn't even really need one, given me their shoulder to cry on and prayed on their knees for me, my mom and my family. They absolutely ROCK! Some people are not pictured but here are the many people that are TEAM YELLOW and have supported me and my mom through prayer and love.

Heidi Zeigler, Christie Caldwell, 115 eagle ladies, Joyce Winter, Susan Thames, my church family at Southern Baptist of Hanford, thanks for everything -- you are the best.

Pray for our road trip, we should be in TN for only a couple days next week and then we head up to KY to see mom and all the family!!!

Lots of Love, and keep praying for mom-- Shannon

The Incredible Shrinking Woman

That is how I describe our mother. It is not a good thing. All of the kids have decided and agreed that mom needs to get tapped and get that fluid off her belly every 7-9 days instead of letting it wait until she gets too full. It makes her absolutely miserable when she waits until it is needed because by then the hospital can't get her in until days later. Then she can barely move and is so nauseous that she is too sick to eat. That is when I think she is losing the most weight. Yesterday she got tapped (it had been 13 days since the last one) and they took off 4liters and 16 ounces -- her record. She is now at 122lbs. Pray that she can consistently eat and eat and eat and maintain her weight. Pray for energy to return too.

Love, Shan

Not So Happy Birthday to Mom

Today is our moms birthday. I wish I could say that it is a happy one but I just can't. Mom isn't feeling good at all and she can barely talk to me on the phone without feeling like she is going to get sick. It was the same yesterday too, so Mother's Day wasn't that great for her either. On top of that, Sarah is in NYC to help her best friend and roomate of 6 years, with her chemo treatment for Hodgkins lymphoma (she was diagnosed 6 weeks after mom). Our cousin, Julie is in Cancun. The house was very quiet for mom which makes me a bit nervous because I know she is not eating properly and she sounded very depressed. Sarah comes home tonight but leaves soon to finish her mission trip with the World Race which I believe she leaves within the week. It will only be for about 7 weeks and you can visit her blog at www.sarahlapp.theworldrace.org Pray for her safe travels and peace in her heart.
Boog and Jenn went over to see mom yesterday which I am so thankful for. I always feel helpless in these situations. BUT the good news is that we leave California on Saturday and make the trek to TN....yahoo!!! I will get there just in time for moms next treatment. Please pray for mom to feel better and spirits to be lifted, I can't imagine how she feels and what she is going through. She gets another tap tomorrow so hopefully that will make a big difference.

Love, Shannon

Mom Started New Treatment

Mom's Ontak treatment started yesterday (delayed a week). She goes in Tues-Fri this week and gets the treatment as an outpatient. She'll have one more week of treatment three weeks from now, followed by another scan to see how it's working. Yesterday's session went fine. She didnt feel any immediate side effects. We'll see how she feels this weekend after a whole week of the stuff. She has felt the same for the last few weeks with little change either way. She still feels weak and has little appetite, and always feels better after a tap, which she is getting consistently every 2 weeks.

Last Sunday we had a little party and cookout for Jaclyn's 7th birthday. It is hard for me to believe my baby girl is that old. It only confirms Im getting old. She thinks she's so big, she wanted to get her ears pierced. I told her it was gonna be the worst pain she had ever experienced. I told her they would bleed for a week and she would cry for days. It didnt work. She is stubborn and hard headed, like her Daddy. Undaunted, she convinced Jenn to go get them done. I figured I'd better pick my battles carefully, and I was definitely willing to let this one go. I have a feeling there will be bigger ones to face in the future.

We all had a great time at the party. Mom felt good and the weather was fantastic (70 and sunny).

Keep praying for Mom!

Love, Boogie