Boogie's Last Post

This blog has served its purpose. Shan and I tried our best to keep all those who loved and cared for Mom informed on how she was doing while courageously fighting melanoma. While doing so, I hope you got a glimpse of how deeply we loved our mother. Thanks for loving my mother too. Please stay in touch. My two email addresses are:
goddard.hampton@us.icapenergy.com
boogiehampton@gmail.com

Here are my words (yes, Shannon had to read them for me) from the service on Saturday:


A devastating storm blew in this past week and my lights went out. My lights are back on now, but my world will forever be a little less bright. There is a little less love. The world will be a little less fun, a little less forgiving, a little less compassionate, and a little less encouraging. Without my mom, how could it not be?

She made vacations more memorable.
She made holidays more joyful.
She made her friends feel more special.
And her family so much more loved.
She made me.......such a better person.

Our mothers shape and mold so much of our character and personalities. Im proud to admit Im a lot like my mother. There is a lot of her in me.

When I get overly excited about something and jump in head first without much thought --that's Mom in me.
When I dream huge, unrealistic dreams--that's Mom in me.
When I take wild, uncalculated risks--that's Mom in me.
When there are threatening skies overhead and I still dont have a worry in the world--that's Mom in me.
When I want to party and have a little too much fun--that's Mom in me.
When I dont sweat the small stuff--that's Mom in me.
When I trust strangers too much--that's Mom in me.
When I leave the doors unlocked at night--that's Mom in me.
When I think you're better than you really are--that's Mom in me.
When Im not offended by you when maybe I should be--that's Mom in me.
When Im selfless and generous, that's Mom in me.
When Im mentally tough and resilient, determined to persevere--that's Mom in me.
When Im naive to other's bad intentions or evil motives--that's Mom in me.
When March Madness overtakes me and I cheer out of my mind for the Louisville Cardinals--that's Mom in me.
When I walk by faith WAY more than I do by sight--that's Mom in me.
When Im totally relaxed on a beach, with the wind in my hair, the sun on my face, the sand under my feet, and a cold, fruity drink in my hand--that's Mom in me.
When I passionately defend a friend or family member, that's Mom in me.
When I am at my most caring, my most tender, and my most loving--it is Mom in me.
She will always be in me.
And while I have always trusted God that heaven is a wonderful place-in some way-I know it is now even better. And I will yearn even more to go there to be with my mom and my Lord when my days here on earth are done.

Last Entry from Shannon

This will be my last entry. I thank everyone who prayed for my mom. I still believe in miracles and I will tell anyone to never give up hope when things seem completely hopeless. Through all your prayers and support for our mom I truly believe God gave her the strength and courage to get through the hardest 8 months of her life. This is my tribute to her from Saturday.


I thank everyone for coming today --- it is beautiful to see how mom was loved so much. I cannot express my gratitude to all the people that sent cards to mom to encourage her, brought endless meals, written on our blog, and simply showing her love through these past 8 months. How can you put into words or on paper how much you love your mom. This is difficult for me. My mom was such a beautiful person but even more she was a fabulous mom for us. Mom was the type of mother that would call me, Sarah , and Jenn about 5 times a day just to see what her grandbabies did for that day. She always called me and asked is Nate doing any new tricks today? Mom was always involved and in our business even if we didn't want her in it which was seldom. That is the type of mom she was. She always had a plan. Calling Jenn and planning our beach trips. There is just so much I could say about my mom, we could be here forever. But I think the most I will take away from my mom's life is how she was always behind me 100% in every possible way. Even during my rebellious teenage years, my mother loved me even when i didn't deserve her love. She was the only person that stood by my side when I disappointed everyone around me. She built me up, held my hand, pushed me and made me the incredibly strong woman I am today. People have called me a survivor, and I can only give credit to my mom that created the survivor in me. We had been through everything together. I would not want it any other way. Thank you Lord for blessing me with my mom.
I will stand up here once again and say God is GOOD, and everything he does is for GOOD. I am going to miss my other so extremely much, but I know without a shadow of doubt I will see her beautiful face again. I know, like I know my own name that there is a God in heaven that sent his son to die on a cross for our sins, that it is by our FAITH in Jesus Christ that we can spend eternity with him and with those that believe and love Him. I know my mom loved Jesus. I do have that hope and peace in my heart that we will share eternity with each other. I pray that it is soon. I pray also that if you do not know and have a relationship with our Lord that you ask and receive him today----I know my mother would want everyone she loved and knew to love the Lord.

I will end today with some lyrics from a song that I had heard a couple a months ago. A dear friend had sent me the words through email not knowing that I had loved it. I hadn't heard the song on the radio for a long time and this morning I heard it while I was driving over to mom's house. It describes my emotions clearly and how I am surrendering to the past 8 months.

Jenny Owens

"If you want me to"

The pathway is broken

And the signs are unclear

And I dont' know the reason why You brought me here

But just because You love me the that You do

I'm gonna walk through the valley

If you want me to

Cause I not who I was

When I took my first step

And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet

so if all of these trials brings me closer to you

Then I will walk through the fire

If you want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen

When you lead me through a world that is not my home

But you never said it would be easy

You only said I'd never go alone

So when the whole world turns against me

And I'm all by myself

And I can't hear You answer my cries for help

I 'll remember the suffering that Your love put YOU through

And I will walk through the darkness

If you want me to

Cuz when I cross over Jordan

Gonna sing, Gonna shout,

Gonna look into Your eyes and see You NEVER let me down

So take me on the pathway that leads me home to You

And I will walk through the valley

If you want me to

YES, I will walk through the valley

if you want me to.

Love to all -- thanks for praying for mom

Shannon Duff

A Celebration of Life

On Friday evening after the visitation, Gabby told Shannon that she wanted to sing for Gig's funeral service. Knowing that Gig would love it, Shannon told her to go ahead. With the help of Caroline, Jaclyn, Alli and Emily they created a gift that will be treasured forever.

This is their demostration of Love to Giggy at the end of the service. We hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

They are singing "I Miss You" by Miley Cyrus.

(If the video is not working, here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3jQ5qbVUC0)

Gavin

Thank You for your prayers and words...

Many have asked recently about where to send flowers and we appreciate your sentiment and love.  Vicki had many passions in her life and out of those loves we would like to recommend two of the following organizations to send a gift to in lieu of flowers:

- The World Race, a simply amazing mission dedicated to spreading His word.  This was Sarah's mission for the past year as she traveled the world.

- The Brown Cancer Center at the University of Louisville, the individuals who serve at this great facility are dedicated to finding a cure for this awful disease.  The link will take Mint Jubilee, a charitable foundation dedicated to ensuring comfort for those diagnosed with cancer and their families.

Thank you so much for all each of you have done.

Visitation and Funeral Arrangements

There will be visitation on tomorrow, Friday, from 4-7pm at Pearsons Funeral Home on Breckinridge Lane, Louisville, KY. And a Celebration of Life service on Saturday at 4pm at Pearsons Funeral Home.

For anymore info contact:
Shannon @240-298-4457

Victoria Ann Turner (May 12, 1947-Sep 17, 2008)

Mom left us to go home to be with the Lord around 7:30 pm.

God Bless everyone for all your love and prayers,

Boogie

Mom is still sedated and on the ventilator.   She has been coming in and out but not very coherent at all.  She just lifts her arms a bit and moves her head.  She has been spitting up a brown, mucous fluid but hasn't done that for a few hours.  We did find out that mom has had a mild heart attack and a possible embolism in her lung.   We are waiting for Michael, mom's brother to get here from Atlanta.  Continue to pray for all of us and esp. for our sweet mom.

Love to all-- shannon

Wed. in the AM

"There is nothing, no circumstance, no trouble, no testing that can ever touch me until first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ, right through to me.

If it has come that far, it has come with a great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment, but as I refuse to become panicky, as I lift up my eyes to Him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will cause me to fret, for I shall rest in the joy of what the Lord is."

- Alan Redpath

A beautiful woman sent this to me earlier this year.  I have held it close to my heart.  I am sitting in one of the waiting rooms on the sixth floor of UofL while a team finishes up an ekg on mom's heart.  Sarah, Gavin and I spent the night here last night.  Mom woke up for us early, early this morning and I got to see her eyes and talk to her.  I knew she was scared.  She couldn't talk because of the tube in her throat and she kept trying to lift her hands possible to take it out.  She is restrained.  Mom has always had a fear of being held down and loss of breathe so I cannot imagine what was going on in her head.  I held her hand, softly spoke to her and tried to explain what was happening.  How do you calm down from that?  I pray for God to settle her heart and mind.  

God tells us to come to the throne BOLDLY and render our prayers.  My prayer is still for a miracle.  I will pray for that until my mom takes her last breathe.   All I could think of last night while I watched her lay in the hospital bed with every tube possible coming out of her, was if I was laying there and she was at my side, my mom would fight for my life until the end.  She has walked through fire for everyone of her children and grandchildren.  I will do the same.  God is sovereign even in the midst of this battle.  The joy of the Lord is my strength.  That is what I am holding on to.  Please keep praying on your knees for mom.   

Love to all -- Shannon

An Early Morning Update

We arrived safely in Louisville at about 11:30 last night. I dropped off Shannon at the hospital right away, took the kids to stay with friends for the evening and then came back to the hospital to spend the evening with Shan, Sarah, Boog, Julie, Steph, Lacey and more as we learned about what was going on now and what we might expect in the future.

Here are the facts, because besides faith in knowing that the Lord is sovereign that is all I can pass along with any certainty right now.

Vicki is in the ICU here at UofL Hospital after experiencing considerable difficulty breathing. She has a wonderful nurse this evening who is lovingly taking care of her and a team of doctors who use more acronyms than I do. She is on a ventilator delivering 100% oxygen, additionally her heart is being assisted by being pressed (that is no doubt not the medical term, however I can't remember what they said right now). Basically, the assistance for her heart is ensuring that blood continues to flow and distribute oxygen to all of her vital organs. She is on numerous medications, some to fight off infections, some to fight a possible blood clot and others to make her comfortable.

We do not really know what the future holds. The doctors will make their rounds again this morning between 9 AM and Noon and should have something more then, how much more is the great unknown.

Please pray for Shannon, Boog and Sarah as they consider any of the significant decisions they are asked to make. That whatever they do, they prayerfully ask the Lord for guidance and hear His will. No doubt this day will be full of challenges and stress, so pray also for peace and rest when time permits.

Shannon or Boog will update later when they have a chance.

by Grace Alone,

Gavin

Mom's in Critical Condition

mom has been put on a ventilator. I am leaving with all my family ASAP. We need all your prayers.

Shannon

Mom's admitted to University

Well, I really wanted to post about how we had such a great time this past weekend but I am actually having to tell you all that after mom and Sarah got back to KY this afternoon she fell onto the driveway getting out of the car and fell backwards hitting her head and left side. She was knocked unconscious for a few minutes, then finally awoke. Sarah, of course was frantic and dialed 911 which she said seemed to take forever. Julie, my cousin, which is an RN was thankfully there and they were trying to keep mom calm and encouraging her not to get up. The EMS finally arrived and transported mom to UofL. From there, they gave a cT scan on her brain and praise God that there is no bleeding or swelling. They did find lots of fluid on mom's right lung and administered a perithentesis. They got some fluid out which brought up her BP and brought down her HR. Mom is a bit confused though and is has some short term memory loss. She is staying overnight and hopefully Dr.Miller will be in to see her early in the AM. I am anxiously awaiting in Memphis to hear what else is going to be done and praying that she is going to have a full recovery. I am really hoping they do a Pet scan tomorrow so there is no internal bleeding from the fall, but that is only me being cautious.

I will tell you that we had such a fabulous time here in Memphis. Mom was weak coming in but by Saturday she went to Gabby's soccer game and afterwards mom, Sarah and I went and got pedi's and mani's. It was so nice. Then, last night Sarah and i got a great idea and decided that we were going to dye the little hair that mom has on her head. SHe was all for it. So now she is a beautiful chestnut amber fuzz head. :) I was so excited and happy for her because she was really gaining strength. It crushes me that now this has happened and we are starting all over again. Please keep praying for mom. Please pray for Sarah too because she was a mess tonight and feels like she is responsible for mom's fall which she could have not helped it at all.

please pray for strength for our mom -- please keep all of us in your prayers as well. It absolutely tears our hearts knowing mom is going through all of this.

Love to all ---shannon

Mom and Sarah headed to Memphis for the Weekend!!!

Just an update-- mom called me Tuesday night and said she felt very uncomfortable and thought she needed a tap--remember she has not had one since July. She wanted me to call radiology and see if I could get her in. Everyone LOVES mom wherever she goes and we have developed a relationship with the radiology team at Norton Suburban. So when I called the nurses and radiologist's assistant (Brooke) was so happy they would see her. They got her in right away. Mom went in on Wednesday morning and they actually took out 3 1/2 liters of fluid. I was a bit shocked --it always still shocks me that she can loose about 10lbs. in a few minutes. I am still confused why she didn't need one for so long and why all of a sudden her fluid started developing. Please pray that the cancer has not been activated. That is one thing Sarah and I were talking about. Pray against it please. Mom felt so much better and went straight home to bed. Tonight, Sarah is packing mom up and coming down here. Yippee!!! It will be great to have them both here. They drive back up on Monday --short but sweet.

Love to all --keep praying for mom

Shannon

Mom's Good

Hey everyone -- sorry we haven't posted in a while....no news is good news. Mom finally has moved down stairs. It took a while but with some help of dear friends we got things moved and she absolutely loves how Sarah has arranged and decorated the first level. Thanks baby sis! (and my dear friend Christy S.) Mom has been busy with her new hobby cooking and also cleaning it has really wiped her out this past week. She has no energy now. She also did not mention to us that she had bled a bit out of her pores and only told my friend Christy Sipes. Christy called me up and told me about it so of course I got her into Dr. Miller today @ 8am. She had also complained about shortness of breath. Sarah took her to the clinic and everything check out alright. Her Hemoglobin was down to 8, and if it is 7 then she needs a transfusion. Dr. Miller said it wouldn't hurt her to get one so he ordered a transfusion for that same day. I have been wanting Sarah to come visit me down here in Memphis, so she may come down on Thursday and bring mom -- just for a few days. Plans are not definite yet. Contiue to pray for mom. She is really a trooper!!

Love to all -- keep praying for mom

Shannon

Moving downstairs

Mom's hospital bed is being delivered tomorrow. It will be set up downstairs so she wont have to negotiate the stairs nearly as much. I actually think this will help her to be more active than she is right now. Upstairs, she had the tendency of feeling trapped. Now, she will have easy access to the kitchen whenever she wants, and will be more ready, mentally and physically, to leave the house whenever anyone wants to take her out. It wont be such a chore to just get up and go.
This is a big step for Mom. Shan and I have been suggesting she make this move for quite a while. Emotionally, she has resisted moving downstairs for so long because that was Mammy's (Mom's mother) place. That is where she took care of her sick mother the last few years of her life before she passed away. I think the space held memories of sickness and death for Mom. Im glad she has overcome those feelings. Memories and emotions are powerful things that affect us in ways we often dont even recognise. We are going to try to help decorate the room and liven the place up a bit, too. Jenn is a master at the "happy place" decor. I also think Mom will feel more comfortable seeing visitors now too. So, if you are out and about, I suggest just swinging by and popping in to see her.
God Bless,
Boogie

Took Mom to the Dr Today

I took Mom to the doctor today. We saw Dr. Chesney this time. Her blood work was pretty good. Her albumin number was a little low, but not bad enough to warrant an infusion. Dr. Chesney gave her the go ahead to do another round of gamma knife to take care of any more brain mets, so we will be scheduling another long trip to UK sometime in the near future. They also set up her next Pet Scan for Sep 25th. We got a couple new prescriptions to try to help her ongoing nausea problem and he upped her pain medication a bit. Mom also decided that she was ready to get a hospital bed put in on her first floor so she wouldnt have to negotiate the stairs as much anymore. That will also help to keep her legs elevated and avoid excess fluid problems.
I asked Dr. Chesney about any new treatment programs Mom could start. His response was interesting. He said that although Mom was very weak and suffering the ongoing effects of cancer throughout her body, the cancer cells have seemed to have stabilized in terms of cell division and growth. He said this is as good as can be expected. He didnt want to do anything to "rock the boat" at this point, since her body was doing so good at keeping the cancer at bay. He wanted to reevaluate after the Pet Scan on Sep 25. He added,"You are doing better at this point than any of us expected." Mom didnt know how to take that comment. It seemingly suggested that she should be dead by now. But I reassured Mom, that she has been so tough and so positive, that her body, with the help of thousands of prayers, has been putting up a tremendous fight. A fight within her body more violent than most can take for 7 months. Her body has taken a beating, but it is not down for the count. She still has a lot of fight left in her. Only God knows how much her body can take. He is in control and everything is according to His will and time-table. I thank God for blessing Mom with a body and mind that are so resilient. Keep praying!
"The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much."
God Bless,
Boog

Mom's in KY

I met Boog up in Nashville tonight. It is so much better than driving all the way up to KY. Thanks Boog. I had a great visit with mom and I am sad that she had to go home. Sarah is coming down a week from Wednesday to watch the kiddos for 4 days while I go to Tailhook with Gavin in Reno (1st time away in 2 1/2 years) and mom may come down with her. Anyhow, mom and I went out for a few hours on Saturday -- did some shopping and then came back home and got ready to go to my friend Nancy Spence's house for Ellie's 3rd birthday. Mom came too since she has known the Spence's for years and we all had a great time. It is great to get mom out and about. She is really handling it well and she is eating really well too. She has an appointment with Dr. Miller on Tuesday and Boogie will update soon -- keep praying for mom to regain more energy and strength and especially to gain some LBS.

Love to all --shannon

No Hospital Stay-- Yeah!

Mom and I went to West Clinic yesterday, and for something that should have taken all of 30 minutes took about 4 hours. It took forever to get her registered and then just to get her called back took even longer. My family knows how I love to wait. I am still praying for that fruit of the spirit to kick in. Like always, they weigh mom, and I about passed out when the scale read 126 lbs. Remember she was @150 in mid - July and then we got her down to about 138 about a week 1/2 to 2 weeks ago. She has lost 12 lbs in 2 weeks or less. I guess the lasiks are working too much. Needless to say I am not letting her take those right now until she sees Dr. Miller next Tues. I thought for sure they would put her in the hospital here in Memphis and I immediately started worrying. Gavin happen to leave for San Diego that same day for just 2 days and so I was thinking that I would have to just plop my poor sick mom in some strange hospital. It took forever for the tech to get blood out of mom. She has to lift her arms and do all sorts of things just to get some tubes of blood. After waiting about 30-45 minutes for the results, all the bloodwork came back absolutely beautiful!!! We couldn't believe it -- even mom was shocked. She said she had her mind already planned to stay at the hospital. We were so thankful. You should have seen us in that waiting area. Thank goodness we were the last ones there. Mom looked up at me and said "I wonder what is wrong with me then?'' I just looked at her and said MOM, you have cancer but the cancer does not have you -- you are great, you just need to eat. It is all in your head. Now we are going home and eating! So we stopped by a chinese place, went home and she ate a plate of Lo Mein, white rice and a couple bites of sesame chicken. She had sherbet and crackers later on. This morning she has already had a half of yogurt and I just made her some oatmeal. Now, we are back to gaining the LBS. So your prayers need to change. FYI, there is a great appetite enhancer called Megase. It is in liquid form and you need a prescription for it. Mom had left it in KY so I called Dr. miller's nurse and she ordered it for us down here.

Love to all -- keep praying for mom

Shannon

Appointment Today at West Clinic in Memphis

Okay -- sorry I haven't post in a long time. There wasn't much to post, mom had been doing great and we have really not left the house since I started homeschooling last week and we also have been watching those darn Olympics and staying up forever. I have never seen anyone sleep as much as mom. She doesn't really even start her day until 11am. We went down to Beale street on Saturday and mom really didn't seem like she was in a very good mood at all. She was really quiet and when I told her whenever she is ready to go home just tell me, she immediately said she was ready. I was wondering if she just went out for me. I felt badly because she has just been lying in the bed for 4 days. She had more energy on Sunday but it was not the best day to go out because Nate was sick. So that leads us to the past 2 days. Mom has had zero energy since monday and yesterday she wouldn't even leave her room and was getting sick all day. She looks so pale and super skinny. I told her I didn't want her to take the lasiks and water pills anymore until we saw a doctor. I called Dr. Miller and his nurse said she should definitely go in and get some blood drawn and check out. So today we are going in at 12noon. I feel so bad for mom. Please pray that things check out ok -- I will feel horrible if she has to be admitted to the hospital down here.

Keep praying for mom -- love, Shannon

YEAH Memphis!

Yeah! I have mom!! I am so excited. I cannot tell you what an improvement she has make since the last time I saw her. She is walking around by herself without a wheelchair!! PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE all to you Lord!!!! God is so good. I met up with sarah and we stopped at Cracker Barrel for lunch and mom walked right up to the table and ate great. Then once we got to my house I was so surprised when she just sat up on the couch for a while and watched the kids play and walked around and looked at the house (she usually has to lay down immediately) Then she took a nap for about an hour and a half, then sat at the kitchen table and cut up veges while I cooked. It was great. Her legs look terrific, not much swelling at all. I am so excited for this week. I am hoping I can get a sitter for Friday or Saturday and take her to Beale Street and hear the Blues!!! Thank you all for all your prayers -- DON"T STOP! I will keep you all updated.

Love to all - keep praying for mom

Shannon

Mom on her way to Memphis

Sarah is driving Mom to Nashville, where Shan will pick her up and take her home with her. Mom didnt feel well over the weekend. She couldnt keep much food down, but seems to be feeling better. A change of scenery will probably do her good. I know Shan will take great care of her. Shan will have to post updates on how she does in Memphis.
God Bless,
Boogie

kentucky a lot

we have been to ky a lot. we have to leave my dogs and my dad and my dad always says be strong and i try but it is really hard. we have proably been there about 5 times. but it is worth it because i love my gig a lot she is the best ever.

pray for my gig --gabby duff

Mom doing well

Mom sounds great these days (I am back in TN). I talked to Dr. Miller's entourage of nurses and they said he doesn't want to see her for a couple of weeks. YEAH! So I made sure it is okay if she comes down here for a bit and he gave us the thumbs up. So our plans as of now is that mom comes to Memphis next Tuesday and stay for about a week and a half. She is ready to get out of that house. I am looking forward to staying in our new home for a while and taking care of mom. I will meet Sarah in Nashville so I won't have to go all the way up to Louisville. We probably won't post anything for a while unless something comes up -- Pray that everything will be wonderful and no surprises.

Love to all -- keep praying for mom
Shannon

24 hr Hospital Stay for Blood Transfusion

Friday, when Mom went in for her Albumin infusion, they found her hemaglobin was very low. They admitted her overnight and gave her two units of blood. She had planned to go to Memphis with Shan, but obviously that didnt work out. The transfusion boosted her numbers enough for her to go home Saturday afternoon. Her legs look better than they have in weeks, but she still hasnt gaining much strength back. Her walking is about the same. Her next appointment will get scheduled today. She still hopes to make it down to Memphis sometime soon to visit Shan.
Love,
Boog

More Albumin Today

Mom is going back in today at 1:30 to get another infusion of Albumin. They will also check all her bloodwork. If everything is fairly good, she is going home with Shannon to Memphis for a week. Only change from the last couple of days is that Mom has a pore on her lower leg that is leaking fluid. We dont know what to think about that. We'll have to see what Dr. Miller says.

Legs a little better

Mom's legs are a little better. She is still having trouble walking for any extended period of time, but has been getting out and about in the wheelchair every day. Yesterday she went shopping with Shan and Jenn. Later, we all met up with the Sipes family again, and went out to eat at King Fish on the river. Mom's appetite is very good. She has been on the appetite stimulant, Megace, and it's been working very well. Unfortunately, we all ate way too much fried stuff. Fried fish, fried shrimp, fried onion rings, fried clams, fried oysters, fried hush puppies, french fries, everything fried. Im glad Mom got some calories, but the rest of us might have taken a couple years off our lives. I felt like going straight to a cardiologist for an angioplasty. Fried stuff is so yummy, but once it's in your belly, it really is regretable. Jenn and I felt so sick on the way home. Purging never sounded so good.
Mom plans on getting out again today, even though it is a nasty, rainy day here in the Ville. Im glad she is staying active.
God Bless,
Boog

Eating Good

Yesterday, we had an impromptu get together and dinner at my house. Mom said she was craving some crab cakes so Jenn and I went to Costco to get some goods. When mom gets an appetite for something, we all rush to make it available, because it doesnt happen all that often. While we were at Costco, we found out the party had grown to 16 total (My family, Shan and kids, Mom, Sarah, Mee-maw(my paternal grandmother), and Christie Sipes and her kids). The more the merrier, right. After buying enough food for a small army at Costco, we got to cooking. Check out this menu: Baked Crab cakes with home-made tarter sauce, grilled tri-tip steaks with grilled red and yellow bell peppers, fried chicken wings, grilled red onions, loaded baked potatoes, steamed brocolli, and cantaloupe. Someone might have made a salad, Im not sure, I didnt get that far. Mom ate great! I ate greater. Everyone had fun and enjoyed each other's company.
While Mom is still having problems walking, she refuses to let that keep her down. She is determined as ever. She continues to show tremendous inner strength, uncompromising resolve, and mental toughness that never ceases to surprise me. Who knew, that under that easy-going, free-spirited, and fun-loving facade, was a tenacious, spunky, never-quit fighter, ready to battle for all she's worth. She's doing it with lots of help from above and with lots of prayers headed in that direction.
Love,
Boog

Great Appointment Today

I woke up pretty early this morning, checked on mom and she was hurting. Her legs were in alot of pain. I prayed with her, rubbed her back and she went back to sleep. The mornings are mom's worse lately. she seems more stiff and tight in the legs. Our appointment was at 2:30 and Dr. Miller and the nurse was commenting on how much better she looked. She weighed in at 141 lbs. YEAH MOM!!! Praise God....thank you Lord I needed that. Mom lost 8 lbs. in 3 days. If it were only that easy for me :) Dr. Miller was just so happy that mom looked so much better. He ordered another infusion of Albumin, so we all headed to the 2nd floor for that -- it took about an hour or so. Dr. Miller also gave us a prescription for a wheelchair since mom isn't doing the best at walking. That is okay, one day at a time. I asked Dr. Miller if he had any objections if I took mom to Memphis and he started recommending BBQ places. Mom has been really wanting to get back down there with me so we are going to see how she is and I will possibly bring her down next Friday. Today was a great day for our whole family. Can i tell you how remarkable our mom is. She has never complained about one thing yet. Mom has never let her mind, nor her heart be pierced by any of this. It is only her physical body that has been effected. She is truly inspiring. That is our mom. Pray that more fluid comes off and if you can specifically pray for better mobility and strength that would be wonderful. I thank you for all your prayers. We have heard them from all across the country.

pray for mom -- love to all, Shannon

"Trust in the Lord, with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes. Fear the Lord and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones." Proverb 3: 5-8

Amen to that!!!!

Appointment Today

Mom has an appointment at 2:30 with Dr. Miller. The albumin infusion seems to have helped a little, so I suspect he will want to give Mom another one today. Last night, the swelling had gone down enough to at least see the form of her kneecaps and ankles. They are still swollen, but 2 days ago she couldnt bend her knees at all and her legs looked like long water balloons that were ready to burst. We need a lot more fluid to come off to get her back to walking better.
God Bless,
Boogie

Waiting On The Lord

Can i tell you that this has been the biggest emotional roller coaster of my life. I have been to a gazillion bible studies and you always get to those passages like in Peter or James that talk about trials and how it is good faith building, and we will grow in Christ. Well, honestly it really sucks. Right now I don't want to be tried, I don't' want to be uncomfortable, I don't want to be tested. I want everything to go back the way it was. Ahhhh, me and my selfish pride. Lately I have been telling God to just please rewind my life like 2 years back. I would even take 9 months back. Everything was comfy, cozy. Nothing crazy going on, just the day to day things. I like it that way. I thought taking care of 4 kids with a husband always gone was the toughest thing I had to deal with in my life. It's funny how things get put in perspective. Now, me and my family are always on our toes. "how is mom going to be today" " how much weight has she lost or gained." I have never had sleeping problems and now I dread closing my eyes. This past week has been the hardest as well. There have been so many words that have been spoken, so many words from the doctors and others that pierce my heart and I am sure my whole family. I have never felt more afraid for my mom's life until now.

But here is the beauty of my Lord God. He tells me to not worry about the things of tomorrow, for today has enough worries for themselves. Today my mom is ALIVE. Today she looks at her 7 grand babies and kisses each one of them. Today Nate lays his head on her lap and gives his gig kisses and hugs. Today I got to rub my moms back while she lay in bed. Today we laugh.

I will wait on my Lord. I cannot rely on what the doctors say anymore about my mom. I love Dr. Miller and I think he is a genius, but he doesn't' know what is going on with mom. He doesn't know why she has so much fluid buildup, or how to get it off. If I have been studying for so many years on how to trust in God, how can we do it if we don't' have practice. Would I want a different test? Yes. But I put all my trust in God that He knows what He is doing. I am trying to be as obedient as possible. It is very difficult. This past week I have felt abandoned, lost, and forsaken. But I know they are lies. My God is with us the whole entire way. I have told a couple of people that I am reaching out my hand and I just need to feel His grip. He is not just holding my hand but carrying me and my family (esp. mom) the whole entire way. I know I cannot walk on my own.

Pray for mom -- love to all--

shannon

Quick Update

Mom has lost about 5 lbs of fluid. The Albumin might be working a little. We are trying to schedule another appointment for tomorrow to see what Dr. Miller thinks. Mom's lowest weight has been 120 lbs. Monday she weighed 150, so she had about 30 extra lbs of fluid. Today she weighs 145. Still lots of fluid, but maybe we've curbed it a little. Her speech is much better. She had taken a Xanax pill to relax herself during the Petscan and that was why she was slurring her words the other day. She is a very cheap drunk. One of those things was probably the equivalent of a triple dose for anyone else. She is still having a hard time walking.

Appointment News from Yesterday

Mom had a Petscan yesterday morning followed by an appointment with Dr. Miller. Mom's legs are still super swollen. The Lasix has not done much to remove the fluid. Her legs feel like they weigh 50 lbs each and Mom can barely walk. She used a wheelchair yesterday. The Petscan revealed that her tumors really havent grown much since her last one, June 12. Maybe 5-10% at the most. But Dr. Miller said the problem is that her body is starting to wear out. She has been fighting and fighting. She has had all these tumors for months sucking energy out of her body. He is not sure how much more her body will be able to handle. He is not sure if we can get the fluid to go away now. Her gamma knife appt was cancelled and all treatment has been put on hold until we can solve the fluid problem. Her protein levels were low, so they gave her an infusion of Albumin, hoping the protein would help with the fluid. If we cant get rid of this fluid, Mom's quality of life is really gonna suffer. Im scared she will be bedridden before long. We are going back to see Dr.Miller at the end of the week. If the Albumin has helped, Mom will get another infusion. If it doesnt, we'll have to try something else. Dr.Miller said he was going to talk to some of his collegues about other ideas. For him to be scratching his head so much about this fluid does not make me feel very confident. Shan and the kids are coming in today. They usually give Mom a boost of energy. Let's pray that is the case. Thanks for all the prayers. We need them now more than ever! Ill update as much as possible.
God Bless,
Boog

NO TAP AGAIN!!

Mom is feeling really full and so I called in to see if mom still had her weekly tap scheduled. She did, so Jenn picked her up to take her. The nurse (Brooke) that assists with the tap called me to tell me that mom's bowel is swollen and they couldn't tap her. I asked her if the radiologist thought it was swollen from the tumors or maybe could be impacted. She said from the tumors. Brooke also noticed that mom's speech is really impaired and she was have lots of trouble walking. I noticed her speech this morning too but she is usually worse in the morning anyhow. Today was a bit different and now that Brooke noticed it it makes sense. I know she was implying that she could have had another stroke but she didn't come out and say it. The radiologist had Brooke call Dr. Miller to see if there is anything else they could do to relieve mom's pain. We haven't heard back from anyone just yet. Tomorrow is PET scan in the early am and then an appointment with Dr. Miller. Boog or I will post ASAP.

Pray for mom --shan

Just wanted everyone to know that mom's PET scan is scheduled for Tuesday at 8am and then results at noon with Dr. Miller. Shan

Appointment News

Just got off the phone and wanted to blog because I know alot of you are waiting to hear the news. I must say it is better than I expected. Dr. Miller examined mom and then had her blood drawn. All her counts are good. Liver and kidneys working great and platlets are where they should be. He is ordering another PET scan for next week. In the meantime, he is making her double up on Lasiks (sp) and giving her another diretic for all the swelling. The gamma knife is still set up for next Wed. but the ONTAK will be on hold until we know more information. If there is anymore info then Boogie will post it.

I couldn't sleep at all last night. I had to get in the Word hard and remember that God is good ALL THE TIME. It is so hard to trust in that, but that is where my hope lies. Pray that all this fluid flows out of mom. She is such a trooper. I plan on going back up to KY by Wed. if not sooner.

Love to all, Shannon

Dr. Miller Appointment Tomorrow

Mom went to try to get a tap yesterday. The radiologist couldn't find any pockets to drain the fluid. I could tell mom didn't want to talk about it so I called the nurse that assisted the perithentesis (sp) and she transfered me over to Dr. Burg who was the radiologist at Suburban yesterday. Dr. Burg pretty much told me that her tumors are growing and are now filling the space where all the fluid has been. She said that this could be the result of all the fluid in her body. She told me that I needed to contact Dr. Miller and discuss our next plan of action. I tried to get more info out of her but she really didn't want to discuss anything since she isn't mom's official doctor. I called Dr. Miller and told him all what the radiologist had to say and Dr. Miller said he was hoping for a different outcome of mom's treatment. Dr. Miller wants to examine mom for himself tomorrow. I have to tell you that through all of this Dr. Miller has been the most compassionate doctor that we have dealt with down at the clinic. He has treated mom like family, and when I called him yesterday he told me that he was so happy I called and not to ever think I was bothering him. We are blessed to have him as mom's doctor.

I don't' know what all of this means. I don't' think it is good. The crazy thing is that mom's spirit is so strong, she is going out still, hanging out with friends and living life to it's fullest. But when you see her body, you really don't know how she is doing it. Yesterday, I told her she has to settled down and get her legs elevated because they are so swollen. She told me that she would but she is going out with friends Thursday and Saturday. Oh BTW she went over to a friends house on Tuesday night and didn't get home until 11:30. She is amazing.

Please pray -- I don't' know what for anymore. Strength, Peace, Trust, Faith,.....all of it. Probably more for me, Boog, and Sarah, Jenn, and the rest of the family. I am also scared that tomorrow's news will put mom into a depression. Please pray for that as well. I will not be able to go tomorrow because I am in TN. Sarah is also going to Nicaragua tomorrow for a week, so it will just be Boog and Jenn and possible Michael, mom's brother. Someone will post as soon as possible.

Love to all --shannon

No Tap again

Mom tried to get tapped again yesterday. They had the same problem of not being able to find a pocket to drain the fluid. We are very concerned since she has gained a lot of weight through swelling the past week. The radiologist fears her tumors have grown. Shan called Dr. Miller and got an appointment for tomorrow to see what he thinks. I will update tomorrow how the appointment goes.
God Bless,
Boog

Our Swollen Mom

Poor mom, she has been so swollen for the past 3 weeks, but this past week she has started retaining lots and lots of water in her legs. If you can imagine also, the swelling is in her face, hip and arms. Since last Monday she has gained 16 lbs. Her legs are so swollen, I cringe when I touch them. We have all talked to the doctors about it and they tell us it is the cancer. Really?? They give us no idea what we can do. Yesterday, after leaving KY (I had been there all last week) I called Dr. Millers nurse (Kelly) to tell her how much mom has gained. She ordered some lasics (sp) and a potassium pill. Then Julie took mom to get her tapped and the radiologist couldn't find a pocket big enough to drain the fluid and so they sent her home and told her to return Friday. I about drove the car off the road when mom told me. Her belly is so swollen. I dont' know how she is doing it. Once again, mom is incredible. She said yesterday that if she gains a couple more pounds she is going to be FAT. She doesnt' even complain. I do enough for her I suppose. She gets upset with me because I get freaked out and start calling all the nurses. They say it can be a result of being on ONTAK all last week but I dont' know if I agree with them since it has been going on for a while.

Among other news, last week mom's brother, Michael came in to see her. He is staying until the 23rd. Then my dear friend from NY, Nadine, came in town as well to see mom. We have had such a great time just hanging out. Mom has really been on this Margherita/Bloody Mary kick lately-- it has been pretty funny.

Please keep mom in your prayers. Pray for this swelling to go away. And praise God for her beautiful spirit through all of this -- she is a true inspiration.

Love, Shannon

Mom on ONTAK round 3

Mom had her appointment today. We actually saw Dr. Chesney this time. We had lots of questions. They decided to put her on Ontak today and also take her off Keppra which was the anti-seizure medicine. I am hoping that taking her off of Keppra will help her swelling go down. We will see. I actually came up on Sunday instead of Monday. mom had been pretty down lately and the kids always lift her spirits. So I packed up all the kids and left poor Gavin at home in Memphis. Last night we went over to Jenn's house and I cooked dinner for everyone and then we just hung out with mom and all the kids. Mom had a great time. Jenn and I are still trying to figure out a place and flights for a girls trip. Nothing else new -- mom has ontak for the rest of the week. I will write and update soon --

Pray for mom -- Shannon

Appointment today

Mom has an appointment today with Dr. Miller. She had a tap yesterday and was feeling a little better after several bad days the past week. I'll post again with more details after we see Dr. Miller today.

A Long Day

I got to Mom's house at 4 AM yesterday. She was getting sick when I got there. We piled into the car along with her essentials; quilted blanket, pillow, and puck bucket, and got to UK hospital around 5:30. We waited, waited, and waited some more. Then we waited. Next, we got back to the room where they started monitoring Mom's vitals and tried to start the IV. Mom's blood pressure was running low again. Lots of readings around 85/50. The nurses were very, very nice and pleasant, but apparently failed "find a viable vein for IV 101" in nursing school , and continued to stick Mom without success. Finally, they called in a veteran from a different department and got it done. Next, we waited. Then they drugged Mom up with some sedatives and put the head brace on. They finished putting it on sometime around 10:00. So, for four and a half hrs they accomplished IV, meds, and head frame.

I was not prepared to see Mom in that head brace/Halo thing. It was disturbing. Sarah and I looked at each other and didnt know what to say. I kept asking Mom over and over, "are you comfortable?"because I simply couldnt believe that it was possible. She was wide awake, but sedated, and claimed to be okay. She looked like a creature out of Star Wars, sorta like Darth Vader when he takes his helmet off in Return of the Jedi. The whole frame was supported by 4 bolts that were tightened into her head. They werent screwed into her skull, but were tight enough to see small strands of blood that had dripped down from each of the 4 points in her scalp. Mom was very talkative, slurring her words, and making jokes, so I knew the drugs were working well. When I told her she looked like Darth Vader, she picked up something, pretending it was her light sabre and said, "Cancer.....you will die". Drugs are good!


Next, she had her MRI, which revealed a total of 6 small lesions. None of the tumors were more than 4 mms in diameter. Then, we waited. Having Mom wait around with that enormous contraption on her head made Sarah and I cringe with each passing minute. If nothing else, it was so visually uncomfortable. I kept waiting, expecting to see her brain start to leak out from one of those screws. Both my eyes naturally squinted as a reflex when I stared at that thing. They started the gamma knife around 2:30 PM. Because the tumors were scattered around different areas of her brain, and the position of the head brace, the gamma knife was unable to reach all 6 in the same session. We are gonna have to go back and do this all over again to get that last one. That is the last thing we wanted. I think Id rather be kicked in the crotch with a lead boot. I dont think Mom and Sarah would use that same illustration, but Im confident they really, really dont want to re-do this day again. Especially Mom, obviously. We finally got out of there around 4:30.

Mom was the ultimate trooper. She was more anxious 2 -3 days ago about the deal than she was yesterday. I know the drugs took the edge off once it got going, but even before that, she was amazingly strong. I was so proud of her. The only thing she complained about the whole day was that her butt bone hurt. Laying down flat on those hard surfaces during the MRI and Gamma Knife made her bottom sore. She doesnt have much padding back there anymore. As always, the nurses and staff fell in love with her. It is easy to do.

Like Shan mentioned, Jenn is in full fledged "plan a trip" mode, right now. They hope to get Mom out again and take her somewhere fun. Get with them if you have any inside info on good places to go.

God Bless,

Boogie

Gamma Knife Round 1 finished

Just a quick update -- Boogie will post a blog tomorrow with more details. Anyhow, the MRI up in Lexington revealed 4 more small tumors. The gamma knife zapped 5 of them but could not reach the last one. Mom has to go back up on the 23rd and get that one zapped too. It makes me sad that she has to go through it all again, but whatever it takes. Mom sounded great on the phone (alot better from the past couple days) but also sarah told me she has been on Perkaset all day too. I am planning on goingup there on Monday.....I can't be away from her too long now. Also, mom has been feeling so down and Jenn and I think we are going to wisk her away to the beach for a girls only weekend at the end of July. We are inviting all her girlfriends (Jan, Judy, Barb, Elaine, and the girls from work) and of course anyone else I have forgotten. Mom thought it was a great idea and we think she needs to get away from that "cancer" room. We dont' know where we are going yet and are still looking for ideas and hotels....if anyone has a place open the last weekend of July or knows of someone that does email me.

Thanks for all your prayers--
Shannon
gsduff@comcast.net

Quick Update/Gamma Knife Tomorrow

Sorry we haven't updated lately. Nothing much going on. Mom hasn't been feeling all too well lately even though she did go out with Sarah one night last week for apps/drinks. Then I think the next night she went out with Sarah, Jenn, Boog and Steph to On THe Border for guacamole and margaritas--moms favorite! Mom got tapped yesterday and they got out just under 3 liters. The radiologists have said they can't really find a big pockets to drain all the fluid out so she has been coming out still looking "filled". She feels relief though. Also, mom has been swelling. Her legs have swollen and are tender to the touch. Does anyone know why this is happening. we are confused. I think mom is really getting sick of talking about cancer all the time and everyone calling to see how she is doing. She was really short with me on the phone on Sunday and very aggrevated. I can't blame her. Mom is also pretty nervous about tomorrow-- so please pray for her in that area. Either Boog or I will update tomorrow after everything is finished.

Love to all -- keep praying for mom,

Shannon

Gamma Knife July 2nd

Mom's gamma knife procedure is scheduled for July 2nd. She has not felt well the last couple of days. Please continue to pray. I started the site counter less than 40 hrs ago and already 115 hits. That's a lot of people who care about her! What an encouragement.

Gamma Knife consultation

Sarah drove Mom to the University of Kentucky in Lexington this morning for a consultation with the doctor about possible gamma knife radiation to treat her brain mets. Unlike basketball and football, apparently UK is better than U of L when it comes to oncology radiation equipment. Who knew they were better in anything, right? Anyway, she is having another MRI on her brain (the 4th or 5th now maybe?) that is suppose to be even more detailed so the computer will be able to pinpoint the exact spot to radiate the tumors. If everything goes well today, we expect she will have the procedure done sometime next week. It is still not a sure thing yet. The doctor might decide to wait depending on the results of the new MRI. The tumors might be too small right now or, if the MRI reveals any additional brain mets (praying not), they might radiate her entire brain instead of using a gamma knife on a particular spot. The good news is that Dr. Miller wants to take care of her brain mets now. Frankly, the reason we were first told Mom wasnt a candidate for the gamma knife was that the radiation takes up to 3 months to effectively destroy the tumors, and the doctors prognosis based on her abdomen was not that good. Dr. Miller was much more optimistic. He told us there was little change, good or bad, in the PET scan of Mom's abdomen from April to June and there was no reason we shouldnt go ahead and try to take care of the brain mets. The difference in opinions from the doctors last week is hard to understand. They were looking at the same scans, right? Dr. Miller has treated over 10,000 cases of melanoma in his career. We all trust his opinion the most. He has such a great way about him. Confident, yet caring. Calm and concerned. He balances optimism with the harsh reality of cancer better than anyone we've dealt with. No wonder he is the director of the Brown Cancer Center. I really wish we could deal with him exclusively from now on, but he is a very busy man. We have all built a very good rapport with Dr. Miller and he seems so genuinely concerned on a personal level about Mom's situation . It is very comforting to us to have him on our side. As soon as I hear from Sarah and Mom I will update the blog with Mom's plans.
Here's a link about gamma knife: http://gammaknife.org/
Here's a link detailing Dr. Miller's impressive resume: http://browncancercenter.org/research/researcher.aspx?id=1642
Check out his picture; He reminds us all of my late grandfather, John Jackson.

God bless,
Boog

Good News!

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. Prov 3:5-6.

Normally, I am not the blogger in the family, but Boog does not have internet connectivity right now and Shannon is trying to catch up on e-mails and phone calls, so I thought I would try to pass along the events of the last few days.

We have been blessed with a great visit up here in KY, made much easier since I am still on leave prior to starting my new job. The kids have enjoyed there time with the cousins, friends Say Say and Giggy.

The cousins left for Florida on Friday, but were fortunately replace (in part) by Sarah returning from Nicarauga on Saturday to help keep the kids occupied and from being bored, an often heard comment around here for the last couple of days.

Sunday was a day with our family celebrating Fathers Day with much of the family in a variety of ways. We were blessed with beautiful weather, fun in the pool, and great memories.

Honestly however, the last couple of days though have just been waiting for today and the appointment with Dr. Miller. This appointment was to reveal the course of future treatments and all of us were nervous based on the events of Thursday and Friday and the massive amount of bad news that we had received.

Dr. Miller was much more optimistic than the doctors last week. The bottom line is this, there are in fact two small lesions in Vicky's brain. These will most effectively (and most likely) be treated in Lexington using a "gamma knife" in the next couple of weeks. Following that, she will return to the Ontak treatment as it has proven to stem the spread of her cancer. The second initial scare from last week was that the cake around her stomach lining had actually increased. In truth, though, it has stabilized or slightly reduced in size. Praise God!!!!

So the good news for all of us was that there is a continued treatment path for Vicky with hope of continued results, thr tumors in the brain exist, but were not the cause the stroke and at this point are treatable. Obviously, the cancer still exists but we have a renewed strength in the promises of the LORD.

For all who have called or e-mailed and we have not called you back, we apologize and will call soon. For all those who have and continue to pray, know that we pray and serve a living GOD who loves us and hears our prayers.

in Christ,

Gavin

Mom is home. MRI reveals bad news

Mom was rushed to the hospital because her MRI revealed that she had had a stroke. In her weakened condition, the symptoms were disguised as regular effects of her cancer. Loss of balance, weakness, and dizziness were all signs of both. She has had a few episodes of blurry vision that could have tipped us off sooner, but no one knew. The doctors were surprised she didnt suffer more devastating effects of the stroke. Thank God she has pretty much fully recovered. Maybe she is a tiny bit weaker on her left side now, but nothing noticeable.

Unfortunately, the MRI also revealed that the cancer has spread to her brain. She has two small tumors. One is only 2mm in diameter and the other is 3mm. The MRI also revealed progressive disease in her abdomen area. This is not at all shocking since her taps have had to increase in frequency from every two weeks a couple months ago to now every 5-6 days. The doctors didnt have many good answers. The neurologists talked about using a gamma knife (concentrated radiation to the brain tumors) to help treat her brain lesions, but decided against it since the tumors are so small and her disease is so advanced in her abdomen. Until they find a way to control the cancer around her stomach, efforts in other areas would be in vain. We go back to the Brown Center on Tuesday to talk to Dr. Miller and Dr. Chesney about any additional options of treatment.

While receiving all this bad news, Mom has been a pillar of strength. Her attitude and good-spirit have been so inspirational. Words fail to describe what an impact she has made on me the last few days. I wish all those reading could witness the strength and determination she displays. You would truly be moved and touched in a profound way. She understands her condition has taken a very bad turn for the worse, and yet, she is an absolute rock. Sure, she gets upset and sad at times, but they are fleeting emotions for her. I often think how many people in the world today, given her circumstances, would plunge into a deep, dark depression for the remainder of their life. Yet, mom is thriving in a positive, loving, selfless state of mind. This blog will never be able to do her courage justice. What a lesson for all of us. What a tremendous example she is setting for all to see. I feel unbelievably blessed just to know her. To call her my mother is an unfathomable honor.

In the midst of all this bad news, there was fantastic news that overshadowed it all. Mom was baptized into Christ on Friday afternoon after we got home from the hospital. We did it right in her pool in the backyard. I had had many conversations with Mom in the past about the importance of baptism and its place in the gospel plan of salvation. Over the last few months we have been studying more and more. On our way back home from the hospital we had opportunity to talk again, and I asked her if she had given it more thought. She decided she wanted to do it. She remembers being sprinkled sometime in the past, but wanted to be baptized the simple bible way for the simple bible reasons. I cant express the joy that I felt. The spiritual always trumps the physical. The eternal over the temporal. Praise God Almighty!

Thanks for all of the fervent prayers on Mom's behalf!

For those interested, here are a few key scriptures that Mom and I studied together:

Matt 28:18-20; Mark 16:16;John 3:3-5;Luke 24:45-50 with Acts 2; Acts 8:26-40; Acts 22:16; Romans 6; Gal 3:27; Col 2:12; 1 Pet 3:21

PRAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Mom has been admitted to the hospital. They found a tumor on her brain and they said she is on the verge of a stroke ---- I am leaving immediately -- boog and everyone else is at University. Sarah is being contacted ASAP -- we need your urgent prayers --tell everyone --

shannon

Under Attack

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast ALL your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings." 1 Peter 5: 6-9

I have been under attack today. I have let fear consume me. Forgive me, Lord because this is not of you. Keep me strong in your Word -- only you give me strength and peace.

I made mom go in and get a tap today. I can tell when she needs one. I call yesterday and they said they could get her in today at 11am. I didn't want her to be completely uncomfortable tomorrow when she has her MRI and PET scan. I was blown away when I talk to her and Jenn after the tap. Within 5 short days she filled up so much that they took 4 Lts out and mom said there was more fluid but they stopped because it was becoming too uncomfortable. They said they could have probably gotten another 1/2 lt. out. She lost 9lbs in 5 days -- she is now at 123lbs. She had been mantaining 125.6 for a few weeks and I had just said I was so proud of her and ourselves of keeping her weight up. I was humbled today. I could tell also she has been a little down and I think today being tapped so soon and knowing she lost more weight got her down even more. Jenn goes to Florida on Friday and we are planning on meeting in Nashville so mom can spend the weekend with me in TN. Then I will drive her up to KY for her appointment on Tuesday with Dr. Miller. We should get the results of the MRI and PET scan that day and talk to us about further treatment. Please keep our family and mom in yours prayers constantly. I know I need them.

Love to all -- keep praying for mom

Shannon

Up to KY and now back in TN

Mom and I drove up to KY on Thursday for her tap which was scheduled for the next day. Mom was pretty miserable the last 2 days she was in TN. Her belly starts to get full really quickly and her discomfort is horrible. After begging and pleading with mom to leave early she wanted to stay until we left on Thurs. We went out that night which I was quite surprised mom could handle it though she only had a potato and a margarita. The next morning she got tapped at 9am and they took just under 4 liters out. If you have never seen anyone get tapped or seen the stuff that comes out, it looks pretty much like beer....all foamy at the top. It still amazes me how much they can get out of mom. Many people ask me why she has to do this. The tumors in the periteneal (coating of the organs) are hindering the proper function of the liver. The liver is the "motor" of our body. Moms liver is being overworked and so it is secreting lots of fluid, waste, etc. all around her abdomin. Mom has a small tumor on her liver, but even that is not doing much damage. It is all the tumors in the periteneal that is effecting the liver. Please pray that all her organs and her body function according to the way God intended.

After her tap, I took her home and cleaned the pool and got all that set up. If anyone knows mom, she LOVES her pool. She loves having the grandkids over to swim and has always opened her home up to pool parties. Afterwards, she took a nap and I did some running around. I came back later that afternoon and mom seemed a little lonely and sad. I was going to leave to go back to TN, but decided to stay a few more hours and I took her shopping with me. By the time I took her back to the house we were in tears. I know I am now less than 6 hours away, but it still just broke my heart to leave her. We cried. We prayed. I love praying with my mom. It will be something I will always remember. Then I had to get out of the house as soon as I could before I was really a mess. We are both good now. I am back in TN and call mom morning and night to check up and make sure she has taken the massive amount of pills she is required to take, then the pain meds, and then of course the pills I want her to take (JUICE PLUS, Liver enzyme pill, anti-fungal pill,) and then I make sure she is eating, drinking, etc. She is my baby now. I am honored to return the favor.

"Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord you God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you." Deut. 5:16

Love to all-- pray for mom.
Shannon

Your Welcoming Committe In Heaven

This video will be worth your 8 minutes; we promise.

Mom just got off the computer and for the first time got to read alot of the blogs and all your comments. She watched this video as well....of course it made her cry. She loved reading all the comments as well. She was amazed at just how many people are really reading this and how much people care for her. If you want to leave her a message I will make sure she reads it. I am hoping one day she can post her own blog message.

Love to all-- keep praying for mom.
Shan

Super Vic

Mom and I and all the kiddos drove down to TN last Friday and were greeted by a million boxes....YEAH!!! The great thing was that Gavin and his dad had already painted some rooms and got the playset up. Mom was excited to see the house and we immediately dove head first into unpacking. Mom loves this sort of thing. She always gets so excited in decorating, esp. the girls rooms. On Saturday I think she did just as much as I did and was thoroughly impressed by all her energy and strength. It was like having my "old mom" back. She was bossing me around and telling where to put things. Yesterday she even wallpapered the girls rooms with these cute huge flower die cuts, and I may add all by herself. She did a great job. Mom's appetite is great. We went to this local dive called Vinegar Jim's and she had catfish, coleslaw and fries (of course moms staple food) Today we went to check out the base in Millington and went to the commisary. We came home and she had a great lunch (chicken salad), but then she got really sick and had to lie down. She gets a little depressed from time to time because she just wants to feel normal without pain meds. There were a few tears between us, but it is always so good. We are suppose to drive back to KY on Thursday for her tap on Friday. I keep asking her how her belly is doing and she seems to be doing fine. Continue to pray for the fluid to cease.

Love to all, keep praying for mom!

Shan
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil. 4:13

Life with Cancer

How are lives change in such few moments. I sometimes keep thinking that one day I will wake up and everything will be back to normal, but these days I have been waking up at the crack of dawn with mom to go to treatment. This is our life. No matter what we wish for or how I long for things to be back to "normal", this is our familys' "new normal". So treatment started yesterday. I will give you a run through of how it all works. First, I take mom to get her blood drawn. Her being on a trial study the doctors watch her like a hawk and take note of any and every detail. Then yesterday she met with her oncologists. The first one came in to see how things were going and I ended up telling her that mom had that double vision and imbalance episode going on this past Sat. you could totally tell that the doctor was concerned and had mom immediately stand up and do some balancing stuff, felt her face, checked her heart, etc. she concluded that she wanted mom to have a spinal tap done that day. Well I know mom wanted to absolutely disown me for saying something to them. She got so sad and was about to cry and just didn't want it to happen. She is so tired of being pricked and poked. So then Dr. Chesney ( he is head of this trial) came in and told us that the reason for the spinal is to see if the cancer has gone to the spinal fluid-- but even IF it was there is really nothing they could do because she is already on ONTAK and it may help it slow down. anyhow she ended up not getting it after alot of begging. So we went down to the next floor and mom sits in her comfy lounge chair where they tap into her port and administer the ONTAK. It is a pretty boring process and usually ends up taking a total of about 1 1/2 hours. Today we didn't have to see the doctor and everything went fairly quick. Later on today mom got tapped and about 3 1/2 lts. came out. The great news is that she has gained 3 BIG LBS. So she is now weighing in at a whopping 125.6. YEAH!!! I will take it. I have to also add that mom is doing so great physically and mentally on this new therapy. She does get a little down sometime because she doesn't have a lot of energy but she is definitely not in the bed sleeping for a week straight. To give you all an example she was blowing leaves and skimming the pool yesterday. She still gets really tired quickly and gets sick sometimes. I think it is good for her to do the normal day to day things. She wants to feel somewhat normal. We are also trying to get all this disability stuff in and we had been swimming in papers to sign and fax. Once all that is finished mom said she will be ready to go down to TN with me on Friday. I just want her to relax and enjoy TN and let me fatten her up.

Love to all and keep praying for mom.
Shan

In KY

Sorry it has been forever since anyone has blogged. I told Boogie he has been really lazy. the duff family got into Memphis on Wednesday afternoon and then closed on our house the next day and got back into the truck and drove right to KY. I am done with driving. The past couple of days have been pretty uneventful. All I have been reallly doing is feeding mom and making sure she gets her vitamins. I think she gets annoyed with me a bit with all the food I try to give her, but I know that if I make it and just put it near her she will eat something. She has been gaining a bit which is great. Saturday we went to Jaclyns softball game. After the game we were trying to get back to the car and she was complaining of double vision, and numbness around her mouth. Her nose was extremely cold too-- didnt understand that??? It took her a while to get up and then once she was up her balance was off....she kept leaning over to the right, pushing me over. Once we got to the car she threw up next to it. Then she felt better. Later that day she just had to lay down. It freaked me out a bit but I guess this is what is going to happen sometimes. I don't know if I should let it bother me or just accept it. I hate seeing her like that and having side effects. Sometimes I even wonder if chemo/treatment is REALLY the right thing to do. Is it just our world we live in that when we get cancer we automatically have only 3 choices? Chemo, radiation, or surgery??? There has got to be something else. Something better. Anyhow I am rambling.......yesterday was so much better. Gavin and I took mom to church which was terrific and then out to eat, and then later that day went over to my friend Christy Sipes house to hang out. Today we will spend much of the Memorial Holiday at Boog and Jenn's for a BBQ. Mom starts treatment tomorrow and I am so happy I will be able to take her and help her this time. hopefully I will post either tomorrow or the next day. BTW, Sarah has moved on to Panama as of Saturday. Please keep her and her team, Seven Eleven in your prayers. Also, thank you to all the service members of our great country esp. VFA 115, our old squadron just left last week for another 6 month deployment.

All my love and keep praying for mom,
Shannon

Meet My Yellow Team (west coast)

As I write, my house is all packed up, loaded in PODS and I am waiting to leave sunny California (Gavin is STILL working). I cannot express to you how excited I am for this next move to Tennessee, but I couldn't leave without telling everyone about the greatest navy friends that I could ever have. For those that are not in the military these women are my second family. Their kids are my kids best friends. I can call on them in a blink of an eye and they would be here by my side. In the past 2 1/2 years that I have been here, these friends have made countless meals for me, watched my children, picked me up from the airport, cleaned my house, watched my dogs, brought me coffee when I didn't even really need one, given me their shoulder to cry on and prayed on their knees for me, my mom and my family. They absolutely ROCK! Some people are not pictured but here are the many people that are TEAM YELLOW and have supported me and my mom through prayer and love.

Heidi Zeigler, Christie Caldwell, 115 eagle ladies, Joyce Winter, Susan Thames, my church family at Southern Baptist of Hanford, thanks for everything -- you are the best.

Pray for our road trip, we should be in TN for only a couple days next week and then we head up to KY to see mom and all the family!!!

Lots of Love, and keep praying for mom-- Shannon

The Incredible Shrinking Woman

That is how I describe our mother. It is not a good thing. All of the kids have decided and agreed that mom needs to get tapped and get that fluid off her belly every 7-9 days instead of letting it wait until she gets too full. It makes her absolutely miserable when she waits until it is needed because by then the hospital can't get her in until days later. Then she can barely move and is so nauseous that she is too sick to eat. That is when I think she is losing the most weight. Yesterday she got tapped (it had been 13 days since the last one) and they took off 4liters and 16 ounces -- her record. She is now at 122lbs. Pray that she can consistently eat and eat and eat and maintain her weight. Pray for energy to return too.

Love, Shan

Not So Happy Birthday to Mom

Today is our moms birthday. I wish I could say that it is a happy one but I just can't. Mom isn't feeling good at all and she can barely talk to me on the phone without feeling like she is going to get sick. It was the same yesterday too, so Mother's Day wasn't that great for her either. On top of that, Sarah is in NYC to help her best friend and roomate of 6 years, with her chemo treatment for Hodgkins lymphoma (she was diagnosed 6 weeks after mom). Our cousin, Julie is in Cancun. The house was very quiet for mom which makes me a bit nervous because I know she is not eating properly and she sounded very depressed. Sarah comes home tonight but leaves soon to finish her mission trip with the World Race which I believe she leaves within the week. It will only be for about 7 weeks and you can visit her blog at www.sarahlapp.theworldrace.org Pray for her safe travels and peace in her heart.
Boog and Jenn went over to see mom yesterday which I am so thankful for. I always feel helpless in these situations. BUT the good news is that we leave California on Saturday and make the trek to TN....yahoo!!! I will get there just in time for moms next treatment. Please pray for mom to feel better and spirits to be lifted, I can't imagine how she feels and what she is going through. She gets another tap tomorrow so hopefully that will make a big difference.

Love, Shannon

Mom Started New Treatment

Mom's Ontak treatment started yesterday (delayed a week). She goes in Tues-Fri this week and gets the treatment as an outpatient. She'll have one more week of treatment three weeks from now, followed by another scan to see how it's working. Yesterday's session went fine. She didnt feel any immediate side effects. We'll see how she feels this weekend after a whole week of the stuff. She has felt the same for the last few weeks with little change either way. She still feels weak and has little appetite, and always feels better after a tap, which she is getting consistently every 2 weeks.

Last Sunday we had a little party and cookout for Jaclyn's 7th birthday. It is hard for me to believe my baby girl is that old. It only confirms Im getting old. She thinks she's so big, she wanted to get her ears pierced. I told her it was gonna be the worst pain she had ever experienced. I told her they would bleed for a week and she would cry for days. It didnt work. She is stubborn and hard headed, like her Daddy. Undaunted, she convinced Jenn to go get them done. I figured I'd better pick my battles carefully, and I was definitely willing to let this one go. I have a feeling there will be bigger ones to face in the future.

We all had a great time at the party. Mom felt good and the weather was fantastic (70 and sunny).

Keep praying for Mom!

Love, Boogie

Relay For Life 2008 Lemoore, CA

Last night I went to Relay For Life for a few hours. I had gone 2 years ago to support my friend Joyce Winter who is a survivor of Melanoma. This year I went to support her once again and also to support my mom. When I first got there and saw Joyce I just hugged her so incredibly tight and tears came to my eyes. You see, just days before she found out that her dad, Jack Poole, has been diagnosed with lung cancer. It just breaks my heart that we are both going through this with our parents. Her mother is also a breast cancer survivor. Joyce gave the luminary speech that night. It was very emotional. I have been very naive you see, like you, I have thought that stuff like cancer didn't happen in our family. Our family has never had to go through such tragedy. It was always someone I knew and prayed for. I had taken life for granted so much. I admit that I thanked God for my health each day but really I said it very passively. Are we truly thankful? Do we thank God for the very breath he has given us to wake up every morning, to kiss our family, our husband, wife or children? As I sat in my chair last night and listen to my dear friend's survival story, I PRAISED God for my life, for my friend's health and his miracle in her, and for my family's life. We need to not take life for granted. Each day is a gift. We need to stop being ignorant and start taking care of the body God gave to us. Please listen to the speech that my precious friend Joyce Winter delivered last night to hundreds of people. She is a cancer survivor and has been cancer free since this past August. Thanks to relay for life and all the donations that support cancer research that continues to find a cure for this tremendous disease. Please pray for her dad as well.

Love to all, Shannon

Info on Ontak

Here's a link that describes Ontak and what it is suppose to do:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/56433.php

Off Chemo On Ontak

Well the bio chemo was not working. Well, we can't say that for sure because it did stop the aggressiveness of the cancer. The PET scan detected no new tumors but there was no shrinkage either. I really didn't know how to feel yesterday.....a little let down but I still will praise God that there is no new tumors. Dr. Miller wants to take mom off the chemo that she had started and try a new immunotherapy called ONTAK. I dont' know much about it but I know that mom is so happy not to go back into the hospital. This treatment will require 1-2 hours of outpatient IV therapy Tues-Friday every 3 weeks for the next 2 months and then she will have another PET scan after that to see how this treatment works. I know that mom and Sarah need a break from that hard chemo--it was just so hard on mom's little body (she is down to 129 lbs). We are really praying that this will not effect her body so harshly and she will be able to eat properly and have little nausea. Pray for next week, she starts on Tuesday.

Love to all, Shannon

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpassses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Mexico by Shan

hey everyone, just thought I would write about my take on Mexico. Boogie beat me to putting up pics -- they are so great. I had a fantastic time, though it was challenging to say the least with driving to LA and flying to Mexico with the 4 kiddos by myself. Gavin was unable to go becasue he was doing his last detachment on the USS Ronald Reagan with VFA 115...Yippee! I was sad that he couldn't join us. Mom and I shared a room together and the kids had an adjoining room -- it was crazy at times but so well worth it. I was so impressed with mom and how strong she was. She walked all over the resort (steps were difficult) and by the end of the trip she was able to pick Nate up and hold him for a while. I think it really strengthened her physically and mentally which is what she (and we) needed. She was eating like a champ and I was thinking that she may have put on a few LBS. The last full day she wasn't feeling too great and she had gotten sick a bit. The worst part was leaving on Tuesday. I couldn't say goodbye to her enough and I kept coming back to her to give her a kiss and a hug. It felt exactly the way it always does whenever she leaves me wherever we are or if I am leaving her from KY......a homesick feeling I will never get use to. Now we are back to reality, the reality that we still have to face this terrible disease and start the fight back up again. Mom called me that Tuesday night a bit upset saying that she walked back into her "cancer room," and she was sad. I was sad too. The thought of her having to go back into the hospital for another round of treatment breaks my heart. For a week we lived like nothing was wrong, no cancer, no sicknes even though we could see that she was still weak. Everything was good. Today mom gets the "official" results of the PET scan -- that is at 5pm EST. I or Boog will post info as soon as possible. Thanks for all your prayers --

Love to all --shannon

More and More and More Pics

1)Gabby, Luke, Jake
2)Sam and Sarah
3)Boog, Mom, Jenn
4)Caroline, Gabby, Jaclyn
5)Jake, Sam, Luke