Life with Cancer

How are lives change in such few moments. I sometimes keep thinking that one day I will wake up and everything will be back to normal, but these days I have been waking up at the crack of dawn with mom to go to treatment. This is our life. No matter what we wish for or how I long for things to be back to "normal", this is our familys' "new normal". So treatment started yesterday. I will give you a run through of how it all works. First, I take mom to get her blood drawn. Her being on a trial study the doctors watch her like a hawk and take note of any and every detail. Then yesterday she met with her oncologists. The first one came in to see how things were going and I ended up telling her that mom had that double vision and imbalance episode going on this past Sat. you could totally tell that the doctor was concerned and had mom immediately stand up and do some balancing stuff, felt her face, checked her heart, etc. she concluded that she wanted mom to have a spinal tap done that day. Well I know mom wanted to absolutely disown me for saying something to them. She got so sad and was about to cry and just didn't want it to happen. She is so tired of being pricked and poked. So then Dr. Chesney ( he is head of this trial) came in and told us that the reason for the spinal is to see if the cancer has gone to the spinal fluid-- but even IF it was there is really nothing they could do because she is already on ONTAK and it may help it slow down. anyhow she ended up not getting it after alot of begging. So we went down to the next floor and mom sits in her comfy lounge chair where they tap into her port and administer the ONTAK. It is a pretty boring process and usually ends up taking a total of about 1 1/2 hours. Today we didn't have to see the doctor and everything went fairly quick. Later on today mom got tapped and about 3 1/2 lts. came out. The great news is that she has gained 3 BIG LBS. So she is now weighing in at a whopping 125.6. YEAH!!! I will take it. I have to also add that mom is doing so great physically and mentally on this new therapy. She does get a little down sometime because she doesn't have a lot of energy but she is definitely not in the bed sleeping for a week straight. To give you all an example she was blowing leaves and skimming the pool yesterday. She still gets really tired quickly and gets sick sometimes. I think it is good for her to do the normal day to day things. She wants to feel somewhat normal. We are also trying to get all this disability stuff in and we had been swimming in papers to sign and fax. Once all that is finished mom said she will be ready to go down to TN with me on Friday. I just want her to relax and enjoy TN and let me fatten her up.

Love to all and keep praying for mom.
Shan